Another Adventure
by Metoria
Summary: ON HOLD! Marya comes back to Stalag 13 and stirs up some trouble for Hogan and the gang with some plan to kill a very powerful General who keeps following her around. Meanwhile the men are trying to blow up a train. On HOLD for a little while


Another Adventure-

Chapter 1

Summary: Marya comes back to Stalag 13 and stirs up some trouble for Hogan and the gang with some plan to kill a very powerful General who keeps following her around. Meanwhile the men are trying to blow up a train.

[AN] GAH!!! I'm such an issue starting this thing! O.o its Kuh-razy!(funny word) I know what I want to do but I can't start it!!! That's it! . No music!!! As much as I don't want to I must turn it off!! Good bye Cartoon Heroes!!!! (hits pause) Guh!!! Oh the paiiinnnn!!!!! (falls on floor and begins twitching) Can't concentrate!!!!!!!!

… Ignore that. This is my way of helping me get going….. Kinda… if the beginning is kinda rushed and cruddy please pay no attention. it's the rest of the fic that matters! HAHA! Okay done typing to myself! Now to work! Whoosh! (super hero pose)

…

Tomorrow night the men had to blow up a train that was coming through. Carter was down in the tunnel working on the explosives and Hogan was planning the escape route and the emergency route in case something went wrong. Not that it would but he could never be too careful. After all what could possibly go wrong?

Shultz burst in through the door to the barracks! "Colonel Hogan! You will not guess in a million years who is here!"

"Who Shultz?" Hogan asked sipping his coffee.

"The White Russian, Marya."

Hogan nearly choked on his coffee. That's what could possibly go wrong! Hogan stepped out of the barracks in time to see Marya walk into Klink's office with two Germans. What was her game?

Lebeau came out and looked around eagerly. "I heard Marya was here! Where is she?"

Hogan rolled his eyes. "She's in Klink's office. Kinch-"

"Coffee Pot is warmed up Colonel!" Kinch said just outside the officer's quarters.

Hogan smiled. He could always count on Kinch.

"Klink, darling! Hold me in your arms and don't ever let me go!" That was Marya alright.

"Klink I need a place to stay. The hotel in Hammelburg is all booked up and I need a place to stay until the train comes tomorrow."

"Not to worry, General! My quarters are available and are all yours!" Klink said cheerfully.

"And how about me Klink, darling." Marya was at it again.

"Klink means nothing to her I'm sure of it!" Lebeau said happily. "She's come to see me I just know it!"

"Lebeau, gimme a break!" Newkirk nearly punched him.

"Alright Sh!" Hogan hushed the men to listen in.

"Well, General Strauss you and your assistant…." They knew Klink was looking at Marya now. "And uh, Marya are always welcome here at Stalag Thirteen."

"Oh Klink, darling! I am forever in your debt!"

"Come we must put these papers some place safe and arrange for my men to guard the train tracks. I know how much the saboteurs like to blow up trains these days." The General spoke and left with his assistant leaving Marya and Klink.

Hogan unplugged the coffee pot. "Papers…"

"Do you think we're supposed to get them?" Carter asked.

"I'm not sure. But did you hear what he said?"

"He's putting guards on the tracks. Which means no espionage." Kinch said.

Hogan nodded.

"Well, there's a sticky wicket for you." Newkirk said tossing the pencil he was playing with onto the desk.

"Looks like we're up a creek without a river." Carter said without thinking.

Hogan nodded. "Yeah." He stopped and looked at Carter.

"It's up creek without a paddle mate!" Newkirk corrected.

"Well that's how YOU say it! I say it differently."

"Up creak without a river! Now that is bad!" Kinch joked.

"Alright, alright…we need a plan." Hogan walked out of his quarters still thinking. He'd have to get in contact with Marya.

…

Later Hogan snuck into Klink's quarters, via the stove. When he came out Marya was sitting on the couch drinking some wine, as usual. "Where's the General?" Hogan whispered slowly crawling out of the hole followed by Carter and Lebeau.

"Out with Klink. Where else!" She said loudly.

"What's the big idea?" Hogan asked harshly.

"Hogan darling-"

"And knock it off with the darling stuff, its getting on my nerves."

"Well that was blunt and subtle." Carter stopped and rethought what he had just said.

"Carter don't talk!" Hogan said with very little patience.

Carter shrugged.

"Why are you here?"

Marya lowered her voice. "I need copies of the papers he has. They are very important battle plans; an air strike on Russia."

"I thought you said the General staff-"

"No, no these were made outside the General staff. They are becoming suspicious and want to try a different approach."

"And you want us to get the copies?"

"Yes! And kill the General while your at it."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Hogan asked annoyed.

"I leave it up to you darling! Now then… wine?" She offered some.

"I'd love some." Lebeau stepped forward but was stopped by Hogan who tugged him down into the tunnel.

Carter waved good bye. "Ma'am." then got down into the tunnel.

Back at the barracks Hogan thought. "Alright. I have a plan. But we'll need her to do a few things. Lebeau I'll need you to dress up as a German officer."

"Right, Sir."

"When Lebeau is distracting the assistant, I'll go in there an take pictures of the papers. Marya needs to get the General out of there early as well. Then when he gets on the train we'll distract the assistant so they are late for the train. Use the assistant as an excuse to get the guards away from the tracks then Carter and Newkirk will set the charges on the tracks. The General will be on the train waiting for the assistant, the train leaves, it's blown to pieces and the assistant is to blame."

"Sir. Why is the assistant to blame?" Carter asked.

"Why such a stupid question Andrew?" Newkirk asked with an annoyed edge to his voice.

"The only stupid question is the one that goes unanswered!" Carter said.

The men looked at him and didn't say anything.

"You got it mate." Newkirk said with a smirk.

Hogan chuckled lightly. "The assistant will be the one who calls the guards away. So it will look like the assistant was responsible for the General's death."

"Oh." Carter looked at Newkirk. "HA! It was answered so it wasn't a stupid question!"

Newkirk rolled his eyes.

…

…

Later, the team split up to accomplish the mission. Carter and Newkirk went to the railroad to wait for the soldiers to be called off to set the explosives. While Lebeau waited to deal the assistant, Hogan waited to take the pictures.

Kinch went into the assistant's quarters once the General had left with Marya, who insisted on being alone on the train with him for a little while. The assistant would finish up their work and join them before the train left an hour later.

Hogan had asked Marya, "How are you going to get out before the explosion?"

Marya smiled. "Hogan, darling, could it be that you are worried about me?" She then tried to get into his arms.

Hogan regretted asking, said nothing and walked away.

Kinch stood just in the door way of the quarters. He tossed in some smoke bombs that he'd gotten from Carter and used them as cover. The assistant jumped up when the smoke had gotten thicker and scrambled to grab the papers that were on the desk. Kinch came up from behind and struck their head to knock them unconscious for a few minutes. Hogan ran in at Kinch's command, quickly moved the papers into the next room, took the pictures as quickly as he could and got out of there followed by Kinch.

…

Carter and Newkirk sat and waited for the soldiers to leave. Carter was hungry. He sighed then looked around him. He looked over to Newkirk. "Hey Newkirk is that bush behind you an apple tree?"

Newkirk looked behind him then realizing what Carter said looked at the young man. "Well if it's a bush it definitely isn't a tree."

"You know what I mean!" Carter lightly punched Newkirk in the shoulder.

…

That was Lebeau's cue. He ran in dressed as a German soldier and woke the assistant. Using the best German accent he had he said. "Hey wake up! What happened here?"

The assistant rose and spoke in a rasped voice from the smoke. "I was attacked!"

"The underground must be after the papers! Best call the troops back from the tracks to catch them. Clearly they've changed their plans on blowing up the train and went after the papers instead." Lebeau said using some sort of fake logic.

"Yes, yes, that must be it!" The assistant rose and went to the phone and called the troops from the tracks too look for the ones who had attacked and possibly taken the papers.

…

Newkirk and Carter waited in the woods near the tracks and saw an officer run up to the soldiers and give some order which ended up taking the soldiers from the tracks. They got into their trucks and drove away.

Newkirk and Carter ran to the tracks once the coast was clear and began setting the explosives. As soon as the train hit the explosives it would be blown sky high. It might even rain Generals that night. Or at least pieces of one.

…

The soldiers had arrived and began searching all over the place for any sign of the attackers. Marya had shown up as well to 'investigate' what was going on, in place of the General. She casually walked into the assistant's quarters and looked around a bit. She walked over to the desk and looked in some of the drawers. "So the papers were missing?" She said with her heavy Russian accent as she pulled forth a wad of papers from the drawer. The assistant looked shocked.

"But… they were on the desk and then they hit me and then when I woke up they were gone." The assistant tried to make sense of the incident.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

A large explosion could be heard from the train tracks. Everyone looked at the assistant, who by had figured out what had happened. "I was framed!"

"We never said you were guilty of anything." Marya said making the issue worse for the assistant.

"But, I…" The soldiers took the assistant out into the truck to Gestapo headquarters for questioning.

…

Back in the barracks Hogan, Kinch and Lebeau, who had changed out of the German uniform, had developed the pictures and were awaiting Newkirk and Carter's return. The pictures and film had been placed into a hidden part of a water canister that would be taken out by a member of the underground and taken to London intelligence.

…

"Where are they?" Hogan was pacing back and forth. They were an hour late. Finally about a half hour later there was a knocking from the tunnel. Hogan and the others jumped to open it and up came Newkirk and Carter.

"Where have you two been?" Hogan asked somewhat harshly but relieved.

"Sorry Sir, there were soldiers in the woods we had to avoid them. So we hid out until we could get past them." Newkirk explained wiping the dirt from his face.

"Because they were looking for the 'underground agent that went after the papers'." Hogan said realizing a mistake.

"That…" Carter acted like there was more. "…and well, we were hungry."

Lebeau groaned.

"Hey leave me out of this! I could live without it." Newkirk slugged Carter in the shoulder playfully.

"Well we were hiding out, and its not like we had anything better to do." Carter shrugged and removed his sabotage clothes.

Hogan sighed. "Well at least you're back. This way you can get into any trouble."

Newkirk sat on Carter's bunk. "Yeah like getting in trouble for drinking while intoxicated!" He said sarcastically, then stopped in mid thought. Had he really just said that?

Carter laughed loudly, followed by the others. "I guess my silly sayings are rubbing off on you!"

Newkirk glared at the young man. "Great!"

"You mean you say them wrong on purpose?" Kinch asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah, that's what makes them even more fun." Carter said with a smile.

The men sighed. And here they'd been taking him seriously the whole time.

[AN] I actually say those things! Especially the 'up the creak without a river'. HAR HAR! Yeah I'm that much of a fruit cake! Gotta love stupid sayings like these! I know I do! Although the 'drinking while intoxicated' and the 'only stupid question is the one that foes unanswered' was my sister! Stupidity runs in the family! HAHA no I'm kidding my lil' sissy is such a smarty pants! I was going to put the 'Dead skunk on the Lawn' song but I changed my mind. Also I didn't specify the gender of the assistant (mostly cuz I couldn't decide which to make it.) So you get to decide! Hope you liked this fic. Please R&R.


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